


Now You See Me

by my_little_nightmare



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: F/F, Happy Ending, Little bit of angst, catras pov, give catra a fucking hug, she needs it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-20
Updated: 2021-01-20
Packaged: 2021-03-18 18:40:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,420
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28871715
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/my_little_nightmare/pseuds/my_little_nightmare
Summary: Catra builds herself a (figurative) mask to hide her true feelings away from the the world, and it changes with her as Adora leaves and fights against Catra.  Catra lets her mask change, and make decisions sh regrets in order to stay strong, and hide her emotions deep away.
Relationships: Adora/Catra (She-Ra)
Kudos: 14





	Now You See Me

**Author's Note:**

> This is basically a summary of everything crammed into 1420 words from catras pov jhdgjksa.   
> Anyways give my baby a hug, she deserves it.

Catra couldn’t remember the first time she had put on her mask.   
Maybe it was when they started training, when Adora quickly rose to the top and Catra faced failure after failure.   
Maybe it was when Catra saw how Adora was always praised and loved by Shadow Weaver, while Catra was scorned.   
Maybe it was when Catra realized that no one cared for her, and she would be left in the dust if she let it get to her.   
Whatever the cause, the feeling was there.  
Catra built herself a mask. An outer layer, a shell, a shield. She used it to pretend she was alright. At least in the beginning. Catra made herself a better version, so that when Shadow Weaver screamed, or Adora triumphed, or Catra failed, no one would ever see how much it hurt her.   
On the inside, Catra could scream, and cry, and fall down. No one saw her there. No one would see her at all. They’d see a face of perfect neutrality. No emotions at all. It was perfect.   
Catra loved the safety her mask provided. Adora… she cared about Catra, but she didn’t understand what it was like. The way she had to fight tooth and nail for every miniscule thing. The way Catra faced failure after failure.   
Adora loved her, but she would never understand. Catra didn’t want her too. She would never wish the things she felt onto Adora.   
Her mask was simple. She was neutral, expressionless, cold. No weakness. It was the Horde. Catra was fitting right in.   
But over time, the smooth surface evolved. It became pitted and corroded. Cracked, and broken by the hate and pressure.   
The mask's appearance changed, and so did its meaning.   
Catra still pretended it was the same innocent shield it had originally been, but that was a lie she told herself to make her feel better.   
She used it as an excuse to be mean, cruel, harsh. The perfect Horde soldier.   
Catra fit right in.   
And then, Adora left. That completely shattered Catra. Adora had left her. For the first time, Catra was completely alone.  
Even when Catra had felt terrible, Adora was still there to pick her up. But now she was gone, and the weight of the world was on Catra’s shoulders.   
So she put her mask back on, and stood up straight. She wouldn’t show what she felt. She never would. That’s why she had first built the mask. A place to hide her true self away.   
Catra was a soldier of the Horde. She would prove it to the world. She’d make Adora come back. And if Adora wouldn’t, Catra would make her. She didn’t want to lose Adora. So she put on her mask, and made the hard choices. The bad choices. The one’s that still made her twist in bed late at night, after Adora fell fast asleep.   
Catra’s feelings had changed. The feelings that had been so easy to hide was now like keeping water from trickling through a breaking dam. Catra was drowning.   
So she changed her mask again. Being cold, and cruel and harsh wasn’t enough anymore. She needed to do more. Her mask was now ruthless, cunning, ambitious, fearless, vicious, violent. She had to secure a victory for herself. She had made it that far. Catra was not losing. She didn’t think she could take that.   
It would have been a lie though, if Catra had said the way Adora looked at her didn’t affect her. But what did Catra care?  
Adora had made new friends. She had replaced Catra. Adora didn’t care about her anymore. Catra was just another Horde soldier, trying to defeat the rebels.   
Adora was She-ra, the defender of Etheria, a perfect princess.   
Catra was no one. So she put her mask on, and with Hordak, she conquered Etheria.   
Catra was unstoppable. She had built herself up from nothing. Catra deserved a win at last.   
But the win never came.   
Horde Prime came instead. And Catra left with him. There was nothing left for her on Etheria anyways. Maybe there never had been.   
Catra didn’t even bother taking her mask off anymore. She had worn it for so long, it had become a part of her. The invisible materiaal had fused with her soul. Catra had become the shield she had once used to protect herself. And she hated herself for that.   
But then, Catra freed Glimmer. Horde Prime erased everything that made Catra Catra. He ripped away everything that she loved about herself.   
He violated her in every way possible.   
But the pain was gone. All the hurt Catra had ever felt was gone. And in some sick way, Catra loved it. Adora didn’t matter anymore. Catra couldn’t be hurt by her anymore. She’d never feel the sting of failure again. Horde Prime loved her because she was his sister, and he accepted her the way Catra had never been accepted.   
But in reality, he didn’t care about Catra. He liked her because she was his to control. A pawn on his board, to move and manipulate.   
And he did. He used her to hurt Adora.   
She could still feel her claws ripping into Adora’s skin. She could still see Adora’s pained eyes as she clutched onto Catra’s body.   
She could hear Adora’s terrified scream as Catra’s body tipped over the edge.   
And Catra could remember opening her eyes to see She-ra standing over her, looking gorgeous, holding on tight to Catra’s body.   
Adora still cared. After everything, Adora still cared about Catra.   
And, for the first time in years, Catra let her mask slip a little.   
And it hurt, letting the material rip off her skin. But it felt good, to look at Adora, no barriers between them. Catra was Catra, and Adora was Adora.   
They were okay. And, for the time being, that was all that mattered.   
Slowly, Catra realized that she wasn’t enough. She had still caused so much damage. She had caused so much pain.   
People weren’t as ready to forgive as Adora was.   
So, Catra started making a new mask.   
Not the old hateful one, that had only ever caused pain.   
No, this one was different. It was perfect. Catra would be perfect. If she wanted to be forgiven, there was no room for screw ups. So she smiled, and laughed, and apologized.   
But it still felt achingly familiar. She still felt like she was suffocating. But she kept her mask on. She’d rather be safe.   
And then, Shadow Weaver sacrificed herself for Catra. And Catra felt a surge of hate for that woman.   
Because she had taken away Catra’s chance to redeem herself. Maybe if Catra had died there instead, then they would all forgive her. She would be a hero.   
But Shadow Weaver became the hero instead. That woman was the last person who deserved it. All she had ever done was hurt. Just like Catra.   
Before she could realize it, Catra stood with Adora in front of the heart.   
And Adora couldn’t do it. So instead of fleeing, like the old Catra would have, Catra held tightly to Adora’s hand, and promised to never leave her side.   
But Adora couldn’t do it. Horde Prime was hurting her.   
Adora was dying.   
And so Catra held tightly to her body, and begged Adora to come back.   
Catra let her mask shatter against the hard floor.   
She didn’t want a mask, she wanted Adora.   
Catra finally told Adora everything. All the feelings she had hid away for years.   
And Catra made a difference. Adora came back. And it was like Catra was still a little cadet from the Horde, watching Adora hold out a hand to her. Adora held that hand out to Catra because she loved Catra too. Adora loved Catra, and Catra loved Adora. Simple as that. Adora had come back for Catra at last.   
She-ra destroyed the Horde, and freed Etheria at last.   
Catra let all her masks die with Horde Prime. She didn’t need them anymore. She didn’t want them anymore.   
Catra was tired of living a fake life. She didn’t want to pretend to be someone else. If people wanted her, then they’d get her true, messy self. Flaws and all.   
If they still didn’t want her, then it was their loss. Catra didn’t need them. She had everything she had ever wanted. Nothing else mattered.  
Catra ended up at Adora’s side, like they had always dreamed.   
But not ruling the world. No. They saved it instead.


End file.
